The Phantom Pregnancy!

(And Very Long Post Alert!!)

OK so I'm going to go back a bit in time here and talk mostly about my relationship with Kevin and what went on there. At the time I didn't connect the experiences I’m about to share and the first experience I had in blogpost 1 ( Here ) until later.

Kevin and I went to school together in the mid 1980's for the first two years of high school. From the ages 13 to 15. According to him we hung out quite a bit together but I really didn't remember! When I was 15 I moved to another suburb of Sydney and changed schools, and never saw him or even thought about him again.

Then about 15 or so years later I was living on my own and asleep in bed one night, and I was awoken because I heard a loud female voice talking to me. It sounded like someone was standing over me and she said "Kevin is coming, he is not far off, he will be with you in 8 years". I got the shock of my life, sat up in bed and looked around, but there was nobody there! I wrote down what I heard and I kept that piece of paper for many years. Who in the heck was Kevin?? I didn't know any Kevins and I didn't remember the Kevin from school.

Anyway many more years passed, Facebook happened, and we all started connecting with people we hadn't seen or heard of in years. Kevin sent me a friend request!! He was living in Europe and going through a divorce after being married for 17 years. I was living in Western Australia. We started chatting a lot, facetiming for hours on end, and then developing strong feelings for each other. By that time I'd completely forgotten about that voice I'd heard with his name and what I'd written on that piece of paper. We spoke day and night for 6 months. 

Kevin was moving back to Australia. One night we were talking working out plans whether he would go back to Sydney and we do the long distance thing, or whether he come straight here to live with me and we take the plunge!!

And while we were chatting I suddenly remembered that voice I'd heard 8 years prior telling me of a Kevin that was coming into my life! I told him about it and we were both blown away and I really thought I heard it because that woman was telling me he was ‘the one’!! (Little did I know!)

A few months passed and Kevin moved back to Australia and we took the plunge and moved straight in together ( I really couldn't afford to do the long distance thing either if he was in another state). We were both 40 and we thought what the heck!

I was so excited and counting down the days and on the 22nd of November 2013 I picked him up from the airport ready to start our new life together. But something crap happened. No sooner were we on our way home I had this wave wash over me that I was making a big mistake. Meeting in person after so many years there were no instant feelings there for me! Shit what am I doing?? That night I lay in bed wondering how can I get out of this?? I think he did too!

We hung out for a few days and decided to try and make a go of it seeings as we had spent so much time getting to know each other after all these years and he'd come so far.

We gave it a shot for 3 months but it just never felt like it was going to be anything long term for me. What a letdown! Having really strong feelings 'online' for someone I use to know, but then nothing when we meet up in person. And why was I forewarned about him?!

Anyway during that time, about 6 weeks after he moved in I started having strange things happen to my body. I was experiencing morning sickness, this shocking rumbling indigestion and my tummy was ballooning out. It was so uncomfortable. Kevin and I were being careful so I didn't think I could be pregnant.

My tummy grew within a matter of weeks and my clothes were too tight. I had no idea what was happening. I was eating mostly plant based foods with an emphasis on raw food which normally kept me very lean, and underweight if anything! I was also experiencing a strong metallic taste in my mouth that wouldn't go away. It drove me nuts. And if I tried to have a bite of chicken or sip of wine that metallic taste would get very intense and the nausea would flare up.

I was telling a friend who worked in a daycare centre (who commented on my tummy weight gain) about the metallic taste and she said that it means I'm pregnant. What??!!!

So I did an over the counter pregnancy test and it came up negative. Yet the symptoms persisted so I did another pregnancy test, and negative again, Phew! I was convinced that something else was going on and I was too scared to go to the doctor. (I have an absolute fear of doctors and hadn’t been to one in well over 20 years, except for a Pap smear test!)

Those symptoms lasted around 6 weeks and by this time it all go too much for Kevin and he/we decided to call it quits and he moved back to Sydney. (I don’t blame him lol)

I was living on my own again and about a week after he left was when I had the experience in Blogpost 1 (Here).

Something I didn't mention in my first blogpost because I wanted to mention it here was the next morning when I woke up I started bleeding heavily in the toilet like I was having a miscarriage! And then all those symptoms I had been experiencing in my body stopped. My tummy went down, the nausea and indigestion stopped and no more strong metallic taste in my mouth. Those things that had plagued me for 6 weeks, stopped, just like that!

I was confused as to what it could have been and put it down to a Phantom Pregnancy. And as crazy as this sounds I did feel like something was inside me!

But that experience lingered with me and so did the first two experiences I had. (The second experience linked Here).

I started looking to connect with others who had ET experiences and I joined a few Facebook groups. I was surprised by how common it was, and surprised by how many people claimed to have had some kind of contact experience. I also went to the library and got out two books. One by Dolores Cannon, Keepers of the Garden I think, and the other by Mary Rodwell called Awakening.

One day while I was scrolling through FB I saw a post on one of the groups about ETs and the hybridisation programme. How many abductees claim to have had children with ET beings (usually by having the fetus taken from them) both in the physical or non physical. What?!!! I couldn’t believe what I was reading. I had this wave of dread wash over me that those experiences I had were all connected. A woman joked on the post commenting “ET’s take my eggs, take my eggs”. I completely flipped out and commented calling them all crazy and nut jobs, and I abruptly left the group! I have no idea what they replied back to me!! There was no way that could be real.

I then read Mary’s book and got to the chapter about The Missing Pregnancy Syndrome. Surely that didn’t happen to me?

The pregnancy tests came back negative. I fought it and fought it in my mind, and the denial was heavy.

Yet something happened to my body for those 6 weeks and something happened that night. And I didn’t bleed in the toilet for nothing.

And Kevin was he, on some higher level, a part of all this??

I felt violated, sick and repulsed. And it put me in a dark and negative headspace for many years. I genuinely felt like I was crazy, and the ‘not knowing’ got to me. I also felt very lost and isolated myself from others. (Although to be honest I have felt lost my entire life, I never felt like I belonged, this just made it much, much worse!)

I didn’t utter a word about it to anyone. I mean who would believe me?? People would just question my sanity or tell me I’m making it up in my head. I wouldn’t be able to cope with the look on peoples faces if I told them anyway. 

I thought about it every single day though. From the moment I woke up, to the moment I went to bed.

Little did I know I was starting to Wake Up and my mind was about to become really open!